Monday, January 26, 2009
Gradually, Then Suddenly
Labels: depression, school
Posted by Heather Graehl at 7:32 AM
Life Sucks. I Quit
Labels: depression
Posted by Heather Graehl at 5:55 PM
"Just as I always said that I went down gradually and then suddenly, I also got up that way." - Elizabeth Wurtzel Prozac Nation
Last quarter I sat exactly where I am now, Kerkoff early morning by the east window studying for a midterm. I am doing exactly the same thing, same time of day, same exact seat, but this time I feel different... I can breathe. The world is not crushing me... I am not crushing myself. I have faith in my ability and I studied hard. So this is what they mean by functioning. What a relief.
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Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I am so exhausted working 8-14 hour days every day including weekends. Every day is getting harder to finish. Over scheduling is not the root of the problem. Over scheduling was intentional so that I could be distracted from how unhappy I really am. Didn't work well though.. the depression is still there, but now I'm drowning in these things I absolutely must do. I would die for apathy right now, because then it could just be me and my misery and self loathing without all this anxiety. I can't cope, I can't study, all I can do is sleep... that is the only way I can make it to tomorrow. But then tomorrow will be worse than today because I can't study now after my 9 straight hours at school.
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